10 Reasons why you should cheat on your partner

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Cheating on your partner has been frowned upon since the beginning of time and it has always been a shameful thing to confess to or be caught in the act of, but why? Culture allowed for a man to spread his seed as much as he could in earlier times and though that is not a very wise idea now, it shouldn’t be a crime to live a little. Here are a few panty-dropping (wink) reasons to get your freak on outside your relationship.

  1. They already think you are!

Men already have the ‘all men cheat’ stereotype attached to them and with Chris Brown’s ‘These ‘hoes’ ain’t loyal’ chastising the modern woman, there is no trust in the world anyway so why not just do it? There is no harm in just going with the flow surely. If your partner already thinks there is something afoot, nothing can persuade her otherwise so hop on the party train!

  1. Each man for himself…

So obviously, seeing as you are considering cheating on your partner, you have some commitment issues and it’s not like she doesn’t know this, right? So why bother with trying to please her when you can go and get your groove on and unleash the 50 shades of you she must never know about? Go out on a ‘guys’ night out’ and thrive on your own, she isn’t the FBI, or is she?

  1. Switch it up!

After a 5 month roller-coaster ride in the same seat (same guy/girl) boredom does tend to kick in and even your partner can feel the tension lurking around. Why stick to the same boring routine when you can have absolutely anyone as long as you keep it secret. Change it up a little, diversify, after all if you are happy, they will be happy too, right?

  1. Side of fun

As it has been established, when a man gets a side chick she is usually everything that he doesn’t want his actual girlfriend to be, and whilst this is true, girls who cheat are usually looking for emotional support from their lover. Everybody loves a side with their pizza right? Just hit a bit of both. With the perfect partner and the crazy side chick/nigga (guy) you have the perfect 2 in 1. Could anything at all be better than that?

  1. But everybody’s doing it!

So everybody in the squad is hitting two or three other people at the same time and you have been stuck in the same merry-go-round for a year, no way! Join the party, honey! Why allow yourself to feel left out or to feel like an outsider amongst your own group of friends when u could be doing way more than them. Oh wait…you don’t want to lose your partner but you still want to have fun? Well, do it! Life is a one way ticket so if you don’t try things, how else will you ever know they work? Enjoy life and face the consequences later. Live in the moment.

  1. Hype the gang!

When your friends don’t believe you have ever been a player in your life but you want to prove them wrong…don’t get second thoughts. Remember, chances are your partner’s friends are most likely giving them the same pressure yours are. Prove them wrong and go for it, after all, work and no play makes Jack a very, very dull lover.

  1. Still think about the ex?

Do you still think about the former ‘yoko uno’ even though you don’t actually want to be with her? Ring her up, get some closure because there is no moving forward without that ‘sixth degree of separation’. Even if things lead from one stage to another with her (by mistake of course) it can’t really be called cheating if she has been a former ‘missus’ can it? Just don’t tell your current flame about it, she definitely doesn’t need to hear that.

  1. Introspection

Cheating can be a great way to let go of your inner demons, that’s if they haven’t taken complete control already. Think about it, once you have hurt the love of your life with one silly mistake, it could actually be an awakening call to your soul, especially if she brings up leaving you. You might actually start thinking about finding yourself and even become a saint from that one mistake, like I said, you never know until you try it!

  1. Freedom! Glorious Freedom!

If you have been basically stuck in a relationship without no way out then cheating could be your saving grace! You have probably gathered that it is a pretty simple feat to undertake so go out and free yourself. For you, the unwilling passenger in a freight train, you don’t even have to hide it, isn’t that fun! Just go out to have fun, pick anyone of your choosing and take a really nasty selfie whilst you are ‘drunk’. Remember to pack your bags and take your valuables before you do this though because hell hath no fury like a woman/man scorned!

  1. Sucker for Pain!

Perhaps there is that one person whose purest joy comes from the pain of others. This is definitely for you! Don’t bother getting yourself into serious trouble by beating her when all you need to do is break her little heart and then revel in her pain and shame induced tears. It is really that simple. Just play on her vulnerability and in no time, you will have all the joy you want. Even when she finally leaves you for a better man and sings ‘shout out to my ex’ you know you at least had her once. That’s all that matters.

So go out, have fun and remember that you only live once, so you should do it right!