In the movie, The Law Abiding Citizen(2009), Gerard Butler plays a character who watches, helplessly, as his wife is raped and killed along with his young daughter… Let’s let that sink in. A gang of men break into your house, tie you up and then rape your wife; kill her, and then make you watch some more as they kill your daughter. That’s painful. Why am I talking about such a horrible thing just below a picture of beautiful woman?
You will understand in a second. We are all law abiding citizens and we, like Gerard Butler’s character would lose our minds and try to kill everyone involved. Right? Would you be offended if I said, “Wrong?”
No matter how good we think we are. We are evil people who would not care about such an even.
“Wait, what? What is this guy saying? Of course I would want to hunt down the people who put my loved ones in harms way. Nobody touches my family,” you say.
Hold it right there!!
We only care about out families. If it happens “Kwamakhelwane” it is not my problem.
What happened to the philosophy of Ubuntu? We hear stories about how our grandfathers would run out of the house with whatever weapon they could find if they heard someone screaming outside. These days if you hear someone scream, you lock up everything and cover even the tiniest hole in the house. “Mabazibone!” And we are all shocked in the morning when we see the cops hurling a dead body. “Kwenzakaleni?” For those who have never heard of the term – UBUNTU – it is an old African philosophy that states that you are who you are because of other people – UMUNTU NGUMUNTU NGABANTU. If you see someone suffering, even if you don’t have enough or the power to help, you try and help. Sitting down and talking with someone qualifies as helping out. It does not matter if this person is your family or not.
You would go out of your way as a man to protect your family from pain but would have no problem causing pain to another human being’s family. Let’s pause for a second and think about that. Uyephi unembeza? The minute “your” lady crosses whatever line you have set, you think you have the right to punish her or even kill her. Who came up with this entitlement trend? Who told men that they own women? There has been a lot of arguments and ideas about how to end femicide but we do not have to intellectualise it. Any form of violence against another human being is wrong. It doesn’t matter if it is a female or whatever gender. DO NOT HARM ANYONE!! We need to learn to talk things out without violence. You don’t need to pull out your pistol to prove that you are a man.
Guy1: Eyo, dawg, Imma smack that bitch in the face! Guy2: Definitely, dawg! Put her in her place. Bitches be trippin man!!
If we sat down and talked, as men, this world would be a better place. Remember when the #MenAreTrash movement broke out and suddenly we were all trash? I was one of the men who went on and defended themselves.
“Not all men are trash. I am good guy. I have never smacked anyone in the face, let alone a woman. I don’t do that. I am not trash.”
Well, guess what? We are all trash!! Yes, you! You are trash. What do we do about the men who are trash? Nothing! Our friends say all kinds of things about the women in the lives and we say nothing or we support their ill ideas. It’s always bitch this; bitch that and we say nothing. Imagine if we TRIED TO TALK to our fellow men, especially when they show any kind of violence towards women. I believe that aggression starts small. It starts with the name calling, then the entitlement (my bitch…). I mean, if you own it, then you can do whatever with it. Then next thing, you control “your bitch” and then eventually it is the violence. Whose fault is it?
Every men who has ever heard a man or seen a man treat a woman unfairly is guilty. We are all trash!! LETS TALK GENTS. LETS ENGAGE, IF YOU ARE MAD, TALK. #HerBodyIsNotYourCrimeScene