Sex as a Transaction

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Transactional sex is described as an exchange of material things -social security- for sex. In instances where one individual sees it as ‘ok’ to use sex as a means for survival; who is to say it is not prostitution? You do not have to stand in the streets and sell sex to be deemed as a sex worker. Entering into a relationship that serves to benefit you financially is prostitution and young people would much rather sugar coat the idea and make it acceptable to use sex to get what they want.  Transactional sex is linked to substance abuse in more ways than one. All these acts that these individuals engage in sometimes go beyond their moral beliefs and you find that even with money involved, you still have to face yourself once all is said and done. You become an object of affection and no longer hold the human value in you.

A full-time job may not be an option for most students but what they fail to realise is that being a part of such a relationship is a full-time job. For one: Your school work is no longer your first priority anymore. Two: you need to keep up with the life that you have chosen and that means you need continue pleasing the wallet that holds the money you so desperately seek. At the end of the day it is not only just money and all these material things that are being passed on to these young individuals. Transactional sex means you have to do whatever is in your power to please so even unsafe sex ends up being in play and thereby spreading diseases like HIV/AIDS; STIs and the likes. You are not given options but money and the human brain puts survival first so you will never see the consequences until it is too late and you are lost in a pool of your own mistakes.  Excuses like ‘I need the money! What else can I do besides to make ends meet with this one thing God has given me?’ are being thrown around like charades.

Your background does not need to be a defining factor in what you can become. As most people see it, it is girls with poor backgrounds that chase this life. Half the time these same girls are introduced into to this life by well-off girls who show them the good life and give them the impression that they can keep it. One individual shared her views on the subject and said “we have a lot of prostitution because they are failing to empower women. Instead they empower them in bad way like using sex and other irrelevant things. They put that illusion that as a woman you need a man in order to be successful; forgetting that if you can see the majority of women that are exposed to prostitution find themselves there because of their background. These women have absent fathers, alcoholic parents they have abusive upbringings and their lives are just trash. These things are ignored and they drive this one that says you need a man to be something; that you can get a blesser. If you can ask someone how much they have in their bank account, they will proudly say “Zero Zero”. If you ask them how they plan to get R1000 in there or even how they can make R1000 in a day, they would casually say “oh I can get a blesser for that.” These are the things that are killing us as a nation. We are making things that are not normal acceptable.  What is your own family saying about your choices? How long can you keep up with this game that has consumed your life and made you forget what’s important –Yourself-Your future? Is it worth being nothing and becoming a statistic in a society that is already drowning while trying to fight substance abuse, HIV/AIDS, Gender Based Violence and Alcohol abuse?

Even though there are those who are against transactional sex, in a heated discussion others shared their support for it using phrases like “If it means you must use it, use it.” And “How can you not support prostitution when you have no money or food and basic needs but you have something (vagina) that can help you get more than that?” this proves that even though there is a downside to transactional sex, there is also a way out for many. It has become a perfectly orchestrated abnormality that has made its mark on our society; on our youth. Fuelling disorder and making young people forget their calling and giving up their hopes and dreams for material things.

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