So many times, the question arises of whether love and sex have an unbreakable connection, and it is a very controversial issue among the masses. Sex on its own is a controversial issue in society and love has never truly been understood enough. No surprise then that we can’t seem to come to a straight conclusion all on our own.
Love, in the broad sense of the word, is a bundle of amicable feelings that we extend towards those closest to us and as we grow older, it encompasses a chosen life partner, sometimes, and eventually our own offspring, and so the cycle continues. Sex needs no introduction, I’m sure, to most of us and it holds so much value when in wedlock but is frowned upon outside of it. Sex is often referred to as making love, a name which implies that the people involved are in love and expressing their love in this way, but is this always the case? We then ask ourselves,is it possible to have love without sex and vice versa,or are the two interconnected?
At a closer glance, love and sex are two separate entities and love is more than just a physical element. People fall in love for many reasons, mostly because of the characteristic traits and personality of the person they fall for and some merely for the beauty they see which, more often than not, blinds their better judgement. Love does not rely on sex for its survival as it is an entity on its own, hence the existence of long distance relationships and couples that take the vow of celibacy till marriage. Some men, and women, pressure their partners into having sex with them as proof of their love, a concept which relies on the ignorant idea that love is all about sex, when so many couples have stood the test of time, withstanding the more base of human desires in order for what they felt for each other to blossom into something stronger.
Sex too is an entity all on its own that is purely physical and requires no emotional ties in order to be considered. In this age, men and women can calmly say they had a “one night stand” with a certain anonymous someone two nights ago and feel no remorse. Sex does not ask that you know the person you will engage with, neither does it demand affection for the person, instead, sex relies merely on physical attraction. Commercial sex, if nothing else, is the perfect example of sex outside of love as the parties involved usually engage in nothing more past their order of business. 21st century men and women are, more often than not, engaged in so called “beneficial friendships” where they have a regular sex partner who is not obliged to be there emotionally. The idea is to be able to skip all the baggage that comes with love as some claim to be incapable of feeling love whilst others are too damaged to go through love again, and having a sex buddy is the ultimate solution. Convenient isn’t it?
So love and sex don’t have to co-exist for them to be successful, but that doesn’t mean they never actually occur simultaneously, does it? Of course when the two come together they create something more permanent, some say a bond is formed but one can never know for certain. Usually, in such cases, love comes first and then sex is merely ‘the next stage’ of the relationship. Marriage counselors and ministers advising two young people entering the marriage scene always give the advice that sex is a key element in a relationship, a piece of advice that is up for debate but is the common go to even for those who are not considering marriage. The majority of people are for the opinion that love has not been fully explored until sex comes into the picture. As a result, it comes as no surprise that we don’t actually consider it realistic to view love or sex as self-sustaining elements.
Whilst the issue at hand has as many sides as a Rubik’s cube, it is safe to say that how we view love or sex differs from person to person. We cannot all view the two in the exact same light and we all have varied opinions on the issue, thus we can never have one holistic answer.