What’s Wrong with being Selfish?

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We’ve probably all heard the word “selfish” being thrown around and in most cases it has a negative connotation attached to it. Yes, no one wants to be called selfish, it’s just not a good thing to hear but is it possible to be too selfless?

Selflessness is being concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one’s needs. We all enter into this state once in a while but do you ever feel like you never have time for yourself? Are you always the one in charge of relationships and friendships? Are you always the one who goes out of their way and compromises so that other people are happy? Do you always sacrifice your time, energy and even money to fulfill the needs of others? Have you become the go to person every time things go wrong? If you answered yes to most or all of these questions then you are selfless, maybe a little too selfless if I may put it like that.

There’s nothing wrong with being selfless, actually it is part of a human’s purpose in life to be able to assist others and to make them happy. The moment you have to over extend yourself to make others happy is when it becomes a problem.

Majority of the time you end up getting your courtesy abused and the real benefit of you helping doesn’t exist anymore. Being able to see a true emergency or issue is the first way to determine the amount of energy you need to put in when you trying to help. Do I need to leave what I’m doing right now to attend to this? Is this issue worth the run around? Are they coming back to me now because they need something? Be selfless but be smart. That way, you’ll be able to share your resources, care, time and love accordingly. Most selfless people end up abandoning their own routines and giving up their resting time to be the helping hand. It’s never a bad thing to say no. You just need to decide which situation DESERVES your time and energy.

Be careful of one sided friendships and relationships. Sometimes we go the extra mile because we want to feel like we belong and that someone will need us and that will make us feel important. Take time to reflect and to see if the love is returned. If it’s just one sided then it’s time to loosen the grip. Use your time to broaden your knowledge, read books, go for a walk by yourself, take yourself out, buy yourself a new item of clothing, build your self-worth and confidence, remove yourself from toxic friendships and relationships. Do these things to remind yourself that you care about you too. Don’t forget to be “selfish” once in a while. You need it.

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